Shattered Defences
by Micki Skye
Summary: Leia is in love with Han Solo, but something keeps her from admitting it. Her past catches up to her when she finally lets him in.
1. Resistance

SHATTERED DEFENCES

Rated: M / NC-17 (Sex scenes)

Category: Star Wars, Han and Leia romance

Description: Set within Empire Strikes Back, Leia struggles with her feelings for Han.

"Sir, it's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable."

"Not entirely stable? I'm glad you're here to tell us these things. Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive."

"Oh!" Threepio said in dismay. "Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior. After all, I'm only trying to do my job in the most..."

The sliding door closed behind the indignant Threepio as Chewie and he moved back to the hold.

The ship lurched again, throwing Leia across the cabin. Han caught her and pulled her to him. Then, abruptly, the motion stopped.

It suddenly occurred to Leia that she was in Han's arms.

_Oh no oh no oh no…_

"Let go," she told him. It was hard enough being stuck with him in the Falcon, having to be this close to him was a little too much to bear.

"Sshh!" he hushed her.

"Let go, please." She flushed, averting her eyes. She desperately wanted to get free. At the same time, a small part of her hoped he'd never let go.

"Don't get excited."

The anger rose quickly in Leia, as it always did when Han was around. _Why does he always have to push my buttons?_

"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited."

"Sorry, sweetheart. We haven't got time for anything else," he said with a wickedly suggestive grin as he left the cockpit.

Leia, heart pounding, had nothing to say.

Leia finished welding the valves she was working on and attempted to reengage the system by pulling the lever attached to the valve. It wouldn't budge.

Han was suddenly behind her, his hands over hers. She shook him off immediately. God, why did he have this affect on her?

_Damnit Han, why'd you have to bring me on the Falcon anyway? Could you just leave me with Vader? He couldn't possibly torture me as bad as you do._

"Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help."

"Would you please stop calling me that?"

"Sure, Leia." He was so damn smug!

"Oh, you make it so difficult sometimes." The frustration in her voice was evident.

"I do, I really do," he said, with that maddening self-righteous tone of his. "You could be a little nicer, though." God he drove her insane. "Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right."

She let go of the lever and rubbed her sore hand.

"Occasionally, maybe...when you aren't acting like a scoundrel."

He laughed. "Scoundrel? _Scoundrel_? I like the sound of that."

With that, Han took her hand and started to massage it.

_Oh god what is he doing?_

"Stop that," she ordered, though not entirely sure if she meant it.

"Stop what?" He was playing innocent.

Leia flushed, confused. "My hands are dirty." _Oh yeah, good reason Leia._

"My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid?" _Oh man, does he have my number. _"I'm not afraid." _Sure, Leia._

He gave her a piercing look. Leia's heart skipped a beat.

_No, no, no Leia!_

"You're trembling," he said in a low voice.

Every cell in her body was on fire. Her brain screamed at her to run. "I'm not trembling," she tried to tell him, with not much success.

To her horror, his face very slowly drew closer to hers. _Is he doing what I think he's doing?  
_  
"You like me because I'm a scoundrel."

_No I don't, no I don't!_

"There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."

"I happen to like nice men." Leia didn't even know what she was saying any more.

"I'm a nice man."

_You're not! You're a horrible cruel man who made me fall in love with him and torments me every day…._

"No, you're not. You're..."

He cut her off with a passionate kiss. His mouth was hot, erasing every thought from Leia's mind except for the feel of his lips against hers. He pressed against her, pushing her body backward, as his mouth insistently searched hers.

_Oh, god._

Leia had never been kissed like this before. Not even close. Her head was spinning, almost making her faint.

They were rudely interrupted by Threepio, speaking excitedly. "Sir, sir! I've isolated the reverse power flux coupling!"

The spell was suddenly broken. Horrified, Leia escaped Han's embrace and dashed way.

Han turned icily toward Threepio. "Thank you. Thank you very much." There was so mistaking the dripping sarcasm in his voice, unless however, you were a droid.

"Oh, you're perfectly welcome, sir!" said Threepio happily.


	2. Admissions

Leia ran into the cockpit, shaking.

Oh, how could she have let down her guard like that? Now he knew how she felt. Why did she let him kiss her like that?

Tears stung her eyes. Her so carefully built defense system was crumbling around her.

She heard Han's footsteps approaching. Leia hastily wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her flightsuit. She pretended to be busy pressing buttons on the cockpit wall.

"Hey Leia…what happened back there…I hope it won't make things…you know, weird between us."

"No. As far as I'm concerned it didn't happen." She kept her back clearly turned to avoid his gaze.

"Oh."

Was that a hint of…disappointment in his voice? _Stop it Leia. Stop looking for things that are not there. He kissed you because he wanted to get the upper hand, nothing more._

"Well…okay then. As long as everything's fine then."

"It is," she said curtly. _Please just leave!_

She heard him step away. The tears really started to flow, and she choked on a sob.

"You're crying!"

Leia spun around, to find Han still standing there, staring at her incredulously.

"I – I….no…" _There's no point denying it Leia, he has eyes you know._

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you so upset." He moved toward her.

"I'm not upset." _Good one Leia._

"You are!" He took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes with concern. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to make you cry."

"You didn't." She didn't know why she was still denying it.

"I'm sorry."

Leia looked up at him, she had not seen this side of him before. Gentle and caring. Her heart swelled in her chest. Like she wasn't already so desperately in love with him, now he was actually being _nice_ to her.

"Stop saying sorry. It takes more than a little kiss from a lowlife like you to get me upset, thankyou very much."

The defensive sarcasm wasn't working any more. He saw right through her. He just gave her a gentle half smile.

"Oh Leia." He pulled her into his arms and held her in a tight embrace. She struggled, but he just tightened his grip on her.

_Give it up Leia. _She felt herself relax into his arms. He held her for a moment, comforting her until her tears subsided. When she had calmed down, he took her face in his hands and studied her carefully. Then he slowly leaned in, bringing his lips to hers.

Leia responded, raising her face to meet him as his mouth gently sought hers. His arms tightened around her as his kisses grew more insistent.

His hands slid down her back, caressing her, sending thrills coursing through her. He reached for her jacket and began to tug it from her.

Leia immediately snapped out of her daze and wrenched herself out of his arms. "No Han!" she cried angrily.

Han was bewildered. "What…I'm sorry…I thought you wanted…"

"I have no intention of being another one of your…_conquests_!"

"Conquests? Conquests?" Han was suddenly livid. Leia had seen him angry many, many times before…but this was something different. He _meant_ it.

"Y-yes," she stammered. "I know what you got up to on Ord Mandell…with those barmaids…I know what you're like with women…."

He narrowed his eyes. "Do you really have such a low opinion of me? Do you really think I'm just going to use you, then throw you away when I'm done with you?"

Leia couldn't quite find the right words to respond, though she was thinking _yeah, that's pretty much it._

"I am a one woman man, I'll have you know. Sure I may have a little fun when I'm single, but once I commit to a woman – that's it for me. You should _know_ that."

"I – how would I know that? All I ever see from you is arrogance. You're always looking out for the bigger better deal. How do I know you wouldn't have your three minutes of fun, then ignore me the next morning?"

His eyes were blazing. "I thought you knew me better than that. You could never be a conquest to me. Not you. You mean way too much to me to just..."

Han's eyes widened in horror, as though he'd said something he shouldn't have. Leia looked up at him curiously. She suddenly realized she was not the only one with carefully constructed defenses. And he'd just let his down.

"Han, I'm sorry – " Leia began.

"I – I…" Han seemed to be searching for words. He put his head down, defeated. "I care about you Leia," he said quietly. "I care about you a lot."

Fresh tears brimmed in Leia's eyes. "I care about you too," she whispered.

He finally dared to raise his eyes to meet hers. "You mean it?"

She frowned a little. "I thought you knew how I felt about you. You always tease me about it."

"I – I wasn't sure. You always denied it so well. So…you mean I was right? About your feelings for me?"

She nodded reluctantly, blinking back her tears, still stubbornly wanting to deny it.

"I…feel the same. I have for a long time. I thought you would reject me…so I teased you about it, to push your buttons and make you react. But…but…I do care…and I didn't mean to make you think I didn't. If you were mine…well…I'd…I'd treat you right. I haven't got much to give you…but I w…I want you to be more than a conquest, if that's…okay with you?"

Leia's eyes were huge. "It's okay. It's more than okay."

Han grinned and his eyes lit up. "Really?" Suddenly he seemed more like a sweet little boy, than an egotistical rogue. He stepped forward and took her in his arms, capturing her mouth in a fiery kiss.

"Are you going to…conquer me?" she whispered into his mouth, uncertain and nervous.

Han laughed. He kissed the top of her head. "Not here, Princess. Don't worry, we will have plenty time for that later. I think it should be some place nicer than this…and a little more private. Besides, we still have to get off this asteroid. I'm going to see if I can help Chewie and Goldenrod in the hold. You can wait here, if you like."

"Okay," she said in a small voice, partly disappointed, partly relieved. She watched him leave the room.

_Ohhhh what just happened? _Leia's head was spinning as she dropped into the pilot seat. In the space of a few minutes she suddenly had everything she had wanted. The man she loved actually wanted to be with her? Her mind could barely grasp the concept. No more having to deal with his cruel teasing and jibes…no more having to work so closely alongside him while desperately pretending to hate him…no more waking up with that heavy feeling of having to face him again…no more waking up _alone_. She shuddered.

Suddenly, something outside the cockpit window caught her eye. The reflection of the panel lights obscured her vision until a soft suctionlike cup attached itself to the windscreen. Leia moved closer to see what it might be. Large, yellow eyes flashed  
open and stared back at her. With a startled scream, she leapt back, her heart pounding. She ran to find Han.

"There's something out there," she told him, breathless.

"Where?"

"Outside, in the cave." They heard a sharp banging on the hull."I'm going out there," said Han.

"Are you crazy!" shrieked Leia.

"I just got this bucket back together. I'm not going to let something tear it apart." 

Leia groaned in frustration. "Then I'm going with you!" _I just got you,_ she thought. _I'm not letting something tear YOU apart._

He and Chewie grabbed their breath masks off a rack and hurried out.  
Leia ran out behind them. After exploring the area and being attacked by mynocks, the cave started lurching around.

Realizing something was wrong, they all fought to get back into the ship. Han headed straight for the cockpit with Leia on his tail.

"The Empire is still out there!" protested Leia. "I don't think it's wise to..."

Han rushed past her, still heading for the cockpit.

"No time to discuss this as a committee."

Leia raced after him, bouncing around in the shaking ship. "I am _not_ a committee!" she retorted. _Back to the same old Han again. Didn't take long._

Han was already in the pilot's seat pulling back on the throttle by the time Leia reached him.

"You can't make the jump to light-speed in this asteroid field..." she tried to tell him.

"Sit down, sweetheart. We're taking off!" Leia gritted her teeth. What was she getting herself into with this impossible man?

As the ship began to move forward, Chewie barked. He noticed something out the window ahead.

"Look!" Threepio tried to warn them.

"I see it, I see it," said Han.

They flew out of the cave, which turned out to be a space slug.

The Imperial Star Destroyer was waiting for them. A bolt from the Star Destroyer set up a fiery explosion on the back side of the Falcon, causing it to lurch to one side. A second bolt hit hard, creating a huge explosion near the cockpit of the smaller ship. The Falcon tilted steeply, then righted itself.

"Let's get out of here," said Han. "Ready for light-speed? One...two...three!"

Han pulls back on the hyperspace throttle and – nothing happened. Flak bursts continued to rock the ship.

Han kept insisting it wasn't his fault, while Chewie howled.

"No light-speed?" asked Leia. _Great, I finally got him and now we're gonna die. Just fantastic. Welcome to my life._

"It's not my fault!" cried Han.

"Sir, we just lost the main rear deflector shield. One more direct hit on the back quarter and we're done for!" warbled Threepio.

Han suddenly ordered Chewie to turn the ship around, towards the Imperials.

Leia was mortified. "You're going to attack them!" _He's insane._ _I mean, he's really, truly insane. You sure know how to pick em, Leia._

Threepio was babbling as usual. Leia told him to shut up. She was not in the mood.

The Falcon banked and made a steep, twisting turn. It raced towards the Star Destroyer as if to attack it. With a swift move, Han flipped the Falcon and deftly parked it on the wall of the Destroyer, making it invisible to radar.

"What did you have in mind for your next move?" Leia asked him, after switching off Threepio.

"Well, if they follow standard Imperial procedure, they'll dump their garbage before they go to light-speed, then we just float away…"

"With the rest of the garbage," said Leia wondrously. _Okay, I'm woman enough to admit it. The man's a genius_. _Maybe my taste in men isn't so bad after all. _ "Then what?"

Han did some searching on the navcomputer for a safe port. He suddenly seemed to find something. "This is interesting. Lando."

"Lando system?"

"Lando's not a system, he's a man. Lando Calrissian. He's a card player, gambler, scoundrel. You'd like him."

Leia smiled. She wasn't going to take his bait anymore. Things had changed "Thanks," was all she said.

"Bespin. It's pretty far, but I think we can make it."

As Han had predicted, the Imperial ship released its garbage, and the Falcon detached, invisible to the radar while surrounded by various pieces of twisted metal. 

Han leaned back in his chair and gave Leia an invisible smile, which she sensed anyway. _Pretty darn proud of himself, the smug creep, _Leia noted with some affection. She shook her head, a grin creeping across her face. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"You do have your moments. Not many, but you have them." She didn't have to see his face to know that she had rattled him. _Advantage, Leia._


	3. Interruptions

Han emerged from the shower, a towel around his waist, his upper body glistening. Leia's breath caught in her throat.

"Shower's yours if you want it."

"Okay." Leia crawled out from the bed. Suddenly shy, she didn't want to be naked in front of him. She dashed to the shower.

Flicking on the water, Leia was reluctant to wash Han's scent from her body. She stood under the hot steam, playing the events of that day over in her mind. It had been a terrible, frightening day…yet it had been the best day of her life.

Han had already left the bedroom by the time Leia emerged feeling fresh and clean. She took her time, deciding to dress up a little by putting on an elegant red gown. She sat at the end of the bed, leisurely braiding her hair until she had made two loops.

Standing up, she watched herself in the mirror with a critical eye. She hoped Han would like what he saw. _Oh, stop it Leia_ she chided herself. Smoothing out her gown, she entered the main room. Han was pacing back and forth.

Leia sighed. Her heart ached for him. She still didn't know if he really felt the same way about her. Did he love her? Was Han even capable of love?

He noticed her as she appeared through the doorway. "You look beautiful," he said, almost in wonder. She blushed. "You should wear girls clothes more often." The blush almost became an angry glare. But not quite.

"The ship is almost finished," he said. "Two or three more things and we're in great shape."

"The sooner the better," said Leia, her tone serious. "Something's wrong here. No one has seen or knows anything about Threepio. He's been gone too long to have gotten lost."

Han took Leia by the shoulders and gently kissed her forehead.

"Relax. I'll talk to Lando and see what I can find out," he assured her.

"I don't trust Lando." There was something about him, a sense she couldn't put her finger on.

"Well, I don't trust him, either. But he is my friend. Besides, we'll soon be gone."

"And then you're as good as gone, aren't you?" she challenged him. She was testing, waiting for him to tell her everything would be alright, that he loved her and would never leave her.

But he didn't respond. He simply looked at her.

There was a buzz and the door slid open, revealing Lando.

"I'm sorry. Am I interrupting anything?" His smile suggested that he knew exactly what they had been doing.

"Not really," Leia replied casually.

"You look absolutely beautiful," Lando complimented her. "You truly belong here with us among the clouds."

Leia looked at him coolly. "Thank you."

"Will you join me for a little refreshment?"

Han looked at Lando suspiciously, but Chewie barked at the mention of food and licked his lips.

"Everyone's invited, of course," smiled Lando, looking around at Han.

Leia took Lando's proffered arm, and turned to go. Han however, was quick to grab Leia's other arm and pull her toward him. She noticed and smiled to herself. She kind of liked this whole jealousy thing.

Leia walked between the two men as Lando explained more about his mining colony. She pretended to listen and posed some polite questions, not terribly interested as her thoughts were occupied with Han.

The group walked into another corridor and headed for a huge doorway at the far end.

"Aren't you afraid the Empire's going to find out about this little operation and shut you down?" asked Han.

"That's always been a danger looming like a shadow over everything we've built here," explained Lando. "But things have developed that will insure security. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever."

Something about his tone set up warning alarms in Leia's mind.

The mighty doors to the dining room slid open and the group entered the dining room.

Suddenly Leia was face to face with the man she despised more than anything in the universe. Her father.

Darth Vader was at the end of a huge banquet table with the bounty hunter Boba Fett. Faster than the wink of an eye, Han drew his blaster and shot directly at Vader. The Dark Lord merely raise his hand, deflecting the bolts into one of the side walls, where they exploded harmlessly. Just as quickly, Han's weapon flew into Vader's hand. The evil presence calmly placed the gun on the table in front of him.

"We would be honored if you would join us," boomed Vader.

Han shot Lando a vicious look.

"I had no choice. They arrived right before you did. I'm sorry," said Lando defensively.

"I'm sorry, too," said Han coldly.

Leia heard Han's screams from the other room as they tortured him. Her father walked around her menacingly. She eyed him warily, her eyes filled with pure hatred.

"So Princess. We meet again."

"You disgust me," she spat. _My darling Father._ _How could I have come from something as evil as this monster?_

"You'll do well to keep a civil tongue in your head, Princess."

_I HATE YOU. After what you did to my mother… _"What are you doing to Han?" she hissed, full of venom.

"It is of no consequence to you."

_I HATE YOU! _"Let me exchange with him. Torture me instead," demanded Leia.

Vader stroked her cheek. "Oh, we'll get to that in time, Princess."

"LET HIM GO!"

"I don't think so. He's enjoying it too much."

Leia exploded. She burst forth, attacking Vader with a fury.

Suddenly she could not breath. Something was constricting her throat. She dropped to her knees, gasping and gurgling. Vader stood above her, fingers in a pinching motion.

He laughed. "Impressive display of temper, Princess. You would make a fine apprentice."

"Never," she choked, her eyes fixed on him in wild rage.

"Very well." Her airway constricted again. She clutched her throat, twisting and fighting against the invisible force that bound her.

"_I hate you_," she hissed with the little breath she had left. Vader merely laughed.

"Your hatred makes me stronger." Leia's hands and lips were turning blue. She fell to the floor, writhing.

_First my mother, now me. Your own daughter._

With no warning, he let go. Leia closed her eyes, gasping, still conscious but barely.

_One day, I'll make you pay for this, Father of mine._

She passed out.


End file.
